Are You Not Entertained?!

Al-Qaeda had plans to kidnap Russell Crowe as part of a master plan to destabilize American culture. The FBI tip came before Crowe won an Oscar for the movie Gladiator.

Living in a cave must not be easy; Osama may be confusing gladiators with crusaders. Following the trend of confusion, one can expect that when Jacques Chirac finally sees Master and Commander, his government will likely put out a fatwa against Crowe.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)